Neverending Exits
When people categorize those in the software engineering profession, there’s a lot of resentment towards the incompetent job hopper, perhaps even more than the coaster; this is an archetype of someone who can only fail upwards, and when they do, they out-earn those whose skills eclipse their own and when they leave, there is nothing but carnage in their wake.
I’m too early career to quite be in this space, but I’ve always suspected I would fall into it. I would rather not (as I don’t suspect myself competent enough to truly fail “upwards”), and being early-career I feel that I could take the initiative to prevent myself from falling down this path. But I think the cause of this stems from something more fundamental, rooted in childhood. I’ve been able to spot this in others, as well, this incessant desire to escape - all commitment becomes a trap, any mistake in the committed endeavor means that it’s all over, and the final solution (if there is any) is to determine exit options. Self-protection and selfishness are often in the same vein.
Thus, skill development focuses on ability to exit, more than ability to perform; interview prep, networking, credentialism comprised of low-hanging fruit. They may often even feel themselves to be incompetent, perhaps deeming it “imposter syndrome” at work. Yet, they truly are impostors, although not ones without skills, but ones with skills that perhaps often benefit themselves more than they benefit society or their larger project. They cannot be truly stupid, despite their subpar work performance; their behavior is often more of an outright refusal to perform.
But why? Why leave instead of stay and become something excellent, rather than someone who appears to be excellent (albeit flaky)? As I mentioned before, I think the root of it is childhood grievance; dissatisfaction in the body and/or in the home, something that one believes one can only be free of upon leaving the body and/or the home. And yet, while you can leave your body in some aspects (weight loss, skin care, “looksmaxxing”), and you can leave your home physically, they are often still trapped by the patterns held in their mind. There is the compulsive need to exit, to escape into something larger and better. The initial thrills of acquiring what feels like release in the form of higher education, the excellent job, the supportive lab, the charming partner, settle down into a normality that doesn’t feel that different from where they started. There is always a higher freedom, a higher state of being that they simply do not have access to. And there is no joy or satisfaction that supersedes that which they felt originally upon leaving the undesired body or the undesired home.
I’ve observed maybe eight or so people who seem to fall in this pattern, including myself. I’ve seen more do low-level versions of this, and encourage others to do so, where spending some time after work (or on the clock) grinding out Leetcode is seen almost as a necessity. The escape artist doesn’t always appear so here - they look like everyone else who keeps their resume up to date and DDIA on their desk. They blend in so well they can’t tell whether they’re hedging or fleeing. Not everyone on guard falls into the same archetype, although I do think it’s indicative of the state of software engineering; it’s better to leave than to be fired, and the perpetual leaver can always be one step ahead.